


weathervane

by prismpvwer



Series: when the truth hunts you down [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, bastardization of judeo-christian angels and demons, i mean kinda, yuta is in his feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:42:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23567041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prismpvwer/pseuds/prismpvwer
Summary: yuta comes home.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Nakamoto Yuta
Series: when the truth hunts you down [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1696294
Comments: 16
Kudos: 60





	weathervane

**Author's Note:**

> [spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3SCSbeTFTfHh0svYYX3tNO?si=1pZ1nTx5TbunutBy1KoAug)

It's fitting that the city is cold and grey when Yuta steps back onto the streets of London. 

Of course, it's nothing more than a cliche that his mood seems to match the clouds that hang low over the streets, and he knows it. He isn't sure what he expected. Honestly, it isn't really that he expected anything else, anything other than the rejection that was given to him. It's a fresh sort of heartbreak each and every time regardless of knowing that it's coming.

Yuta pulls the black wool coat closer to his body as he walks, as he makes his way away from the looming shadow of St. Paul's Cathedral. The church's spires disappear into the clouds, and it seems to stand only to haunt him in that moment.

At least it isn't raining. 

He hates when he comes back and his mood hangs over him like a dark cloud. Though, it's less of a bad mood and more of a heartbreak. The doom and gloom isn't like him and he knows it, but it isn't something that he's ever been able to stop. From the time that Yuta was bound to Earth, he's been homesick for the one place that he hasn't been allowed to exist in any longer. Each and every time that he tries to rectify it, he's met with a stone wall of rejection. The heartbreak is the same each and every time. 

He knows that he needs to clear his mind before he goes back to their flat. Jaehyun is always on edge when he returns, in any case. Yuta had learned after the first few times of leaving him out of the blue that going straight home after returning to London was never a good idea. He was always too emotionally drained. Taking time to himself to just walk around and get his thoughts in order was the best way to avoid a fight that neither of them wanted to have; that both of them were tired of having at this point. 

Yuta lets out a sigh, turning off to a side street that leads him to Smithfield Market. The market is a ghost town just after eleven in the evening, most of the vendors not beginning to set up for their early hours call times yet. He pads through the darkened market building, the rhythmic click of the short heels of his boots an easy focus for his attentions as he tries to even out his breathing, thinking of Jaehyun. Of going home. 

Jaehyun knows that Yuta can't help it. By his very nature, wanting to be in Heaven was in his blood. It was quite literally knit into his bones. As an angel, his entire being was created with the purpose of being in the celestial plane, in doting on a 'caring and loving' God. Jaehyun knows that. There is an understanding between the two of them that runs deep, but that doesn't mean that Jaehyun _likes_ the fact that Yuta leaves him every few months in an attempt to return to Heaven. 

For every ounce of Jaehyun that dislikes Yuta leaving, that is duplicated within Yuta himself, tenfold. He hates himself for leaving, for the desire to be in Heaven with a God who had cast him out, who had bound him to Earth. More than anything, he wishes that he could be able to stop himself from returning to Heaven, from embarrassing himself trying to plead his way back into the good graces.

It's always been like clockwork, though, no matter how much he might try to stop it. Once a year or so, he leaves without notice, when the homesickness becomes too much to bear. When he feels as though he might crumble under the weight of wanting to be _home_. He's unsure how long he was gone this time, it's been up to a few weeks in the past. The perpetually grey weather of London does nothing to help him figure out how long he was waiting at the gates of Heaven, begging to be allowed an audience with the archangels.

Yuta takes the back roads through Farringdon as he heads towards their flat in Clerkenwell, crossing through narrow alleys quickly and quietly as he finally feels ready to see Jaehyun. 

Jaehyun isn't ever mad when Yuta arrives back, that isn't who he is. He's always a bundle of worry when Yuta comes back to their flat, and Yuta understands that. If their situations were reversed, he knows that he would be barely able to function until Jaehyun came back, until he knew for sure that he was coming back. Of course, they both knew that Yuta was coming back each and every time. When an angel was bound to Earth for their sins, they weren't ever to be allowed to step back past the gates. 

Yuta hates causing Jaehyun to worry, hates that he's the sole reason for his stress when he leaves. If he could stop himself, he would. 

Just another tick on the self-loathing scale, he supposes.

It isn't long until Yuta's standing on the street in front of their flat. He stares up at the window facing the road, the light is on which signals to him that Jaehyun is at home. Yuta lets out a sigh, finally walking up the stairs as he fishes his keys from his pocket. He unlocks the door into the building, closing it quietly before he ascends the stairs to their flat.

Standing in front of the door to their flat, he isn't sure why he's hesitating. He wants to see Jaehyun so terribly. The ache when they're apart is nearly as strong as the homesickness that he battles on a daily basis. Yuta never knew it was possible to feel so strongly for another person as he does for Jaehyun, as he has felt for him since the day they met all those decades ago. 

Finally, Yuta fits the key into the lock and pushes it open. The door creaks through an otherwise quiet room, and he steps inside. "Jaehyun?" 

There's a rustle in the other room and in an instant, Jaehyun is in front of him. Yuta feels his stomach swoop as he comes closer, just relieved to see him again.

"You're back," Jaehyun says, reaching for him and Yuta goes easily, resting his head on his shoulder as his arms wrap around Jaehuyn's waist and holding tightly. Jaehyun wraps his arms around Yuta's shoulders. Yuta feels secure; at home. He knows this is where he's supposed to be, and it helps to dull the ache in his chest slightly. 

"I'm back." Yuta sighs softly, squeezing his eyes shut. He pauses before he speaks again. "And it's _freezing_ outside." He knows it isn't much, but he just wants to lighten the mood slightly. 

Yuta feels Jaehyun laugh, a soft rumble in his chest and then there's a warmth radiating through him. To a human, one might just think that Jaehyun runs warm, or maybe something even more cliche like he's warm and home for him. While that cliche might be true, Yuta knows that isn't necessarily the case. The warmth that Jaehyun radiates isn't natural, and he knows if he was to lean back, he'd see that his eyes were blacked out entirely. He doesn't lean back, though, doesn't want to move even an inch from where he is. 

"My personal heater." Yuta jokes as Jaehyun's warmth permeates to his bones, pressing a kiss against the hollow of his neck. 

"Only for you." Jaehyun murmurs. The low timbre of his voice warms Yuta in an entirely different way. "Let's get you changed, come on." Yuta whines as Jaehyun moves away from him, frowning at his back and going quietly after him into their bedroom. 

Normally, the space between them would be filled with laughter and teasing each other, with playful jokes and mindless talking. Whenever Yuta comes back, it's quiet between them, as if they're trying to figure out how to navigate each other. As if they haven't been circling each other like planets since the late nineteenth century.

Yuta feels as though he knows what's going through Jaehyun's head in times like this, simply because of the fights they've had about this exact situation. He knows that while Jaehyun understands the pull Yuta feels to go home, to go back to heaven, he doesn't like it. Yuta doesn't know how to explain to him that it isn't that he isn't content here on Earth with Jaehyun, but it's simply that he can't help himself from going, from trying. 

Yuta shrugs off his coat once they're in the bedroom, crossing to the closet to hang it up there. When he's finished, he turns to see Jaehyun pulling a pair of soft flannel pants and a t-shirt of his out of the drawers, and he can't help but to smile. There's something comforting about allowing himself to be entirely wrapped up in Jaehyun when he comes home, in his clothes, in his arms. 

He doesn't understand how it could be so _wrong_ , how he could have been banished from Heaven and bound to Earth simply for falling in love with a demon when it's the only comfort he can find. 

He dresses quickly and then crosses to Jaehyun again, taking his hand. "Missed you." His words are quiet and he stares up at Jaehyun, wanting him to know that, despite anything, he missed him. That he loves him, that he'll always come home to him. 

The words are there, nearly on the tip of his tongue, but he doesn't say them. It doesn't feel like the right time. 

After Yuta speaks, he watches the tension that Jaehyun has been holding in his body leave entirely in an exhale. The small reddish-grey horns that Jaehyun only hides from him when he's stressed suddenly fade into Yuta's vision, curling and peeking out from under his ash colored hair. Yuta thinks for a moment that he hates being the cause for that tension and stress - but as soon as the thought comes, he pushes it out again. This isn't the time for his self-loathing, not when he has Jaehyun in front of him. 

"I missed you too, Yuta." Jaehyun's voice is quiet as he speaks and Yuta gives his hand a soft squeeze. "You know it's not the same without you here." 

There's so much unspoken in Jaehyun's words and Yuta has to bite down on his lip in an attempt to keep his thoughts to himself. He desperately doesn't want tonight to end in a fight. It's been years since they've fought the very night he's returned to Jaehyun, and he'd quite like to keep that streak going. 

Yuta reaches up then, cupping Jaehyun's face and drawing him in close. He leans his forehead against Jaehyun's and watches as his eyes fall shut. Yuta keeps his own eyes open, simply watching him. It's as if he can't get enough, as if he can't stop watching him. 

"I know." Yuta says softly. "But I'm here now." It's all he can give him for now, all he can promise. They both know that Yuta will leave again eventually. But they both also know that he will always come back. Even though the entire reason Yuta leaves is in an attempt to be allowed back into Heaven, he will always return to Jaehyun's side. It isn't much, but it's the one constant that he can always promise Jaehyun. 

He presses a soft kiss against Jaehyun's lips, before he steps back slightly, eyes going to the clock by their bedside. 

"It's late, we should sleep." Jaehyun's voice breaks through his thoughts and Yuta turns to look at him, a small smile on his lips as he nods. Even now, even after being separated, they're always on the same wavelength.

They get ready quietly, and Yuta slips into bed as he hears Jaehyun locking their front door. He flicks off the light on his nightstand as Jaehyun crosses to their bed, the room encased in darkness moments later. He stays quiet for a moment before he speaks. 

"How long was I gone?" His voice is quiet, barely a whisper. He doesn't want to talk about it yet, doesn't want to discuss the elephant in the room, but he needs to know. He has to know.

Yuta hears Jaehyun sigh softly before he speaks. "Almost a month." 

Yuta stays still, staring out at the darkness of their room before he turns, wrapping an arm around Jaehyun's waist from behind and hooking his chin over his shoulder. He doesn't speak, not yet. Jaehyun doesn't seem to want to speak on it either, and Yuta can't blame him. 

"I love you." He presses a kiss below Jaehyun's ear, before he shifts slightly, leaning his forehead against the back of Jaehyun's neck. He feels Jaehyun's hand find his where it's wrapped around Jaehyun's waist, their fingers tangling together easily. 

A heaviness has settled over the room, over them. Yuta can feel it pressing against him from all sides. It's always the same, each time. The heaviness, the worry. But even so, the one constant that they both have is each other. It's all he can hold onto now.

**Author's Note:**

> this is just the beginning part to get me off the ground with actually _writing_ in this verse that i've been playing around with for genuinely years. lots more little parts set in this universe to come! 
> 
> say hi on [twitter](https://twitter.com/prismpvwer)


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